Mo'Kha X-Press Oh!

As a little girl growing up I had a powerful imagination. I was an only child for nine years of my life so I had to be inventive and creative. One of my favorite past times was singing in front of the mirror, (I know I’m not the only one.) I have performed more sold out concerts than I can count. I would also interview myself in the mirror afterwards. I was very thorough in my fantasies. One of my favorite concert series to perform, because yes chile I was actually “singing”; featured the music of the late Donna Summer.

I’d prance around in my mother’s heels and curly fall wig chanting “toot toot, heey, beep beep! Despite the fact that I wasn’t quite sure what a “Bad Girl” was, I conveyed the sentiment of the song like a pro, (pun intended.) I would use my reflection in the mirror to belt out the Barbara Streisand duo “No More Tears, Enough is Enough” which always wrecked the arena. I’d close the one night only performance with the powerful ballad “MacAuthor’s Park Suite”.

To this very day I don’t fully understand what Ms. Summer was singing about, but the haunting line “someone left the cake out in the rain,” still evokes a blend of melancholy, bliss and longing in my heart. Upon hearing about her death this afternoon when I logged onto facebook, I felt those old sentiments stirring in my soul once more. Instead of sadness, I was overcome with precious memories that I’d tucked away long ago. And even if I never have that recipe again, I’m grateful for the experience; rest peacefully sweet Donna.

It is February 24th and black history “month” is almost at its end.  I don’t know if you were paying attention but the entire month was dedicated to honoring our African-American women.  I have posted the poems and websites of some of my favorite female writers and poets on my Facebook page.  I would like to carry on that tradition here on my blog by posting a piece by one of my favorite “living” poets.  If you’re not familiar with her please do yourself a favor and click »» Rita Dove.

~M

Golden Oldie

I made it home early, only to get 
stalled in the driveway-swaying 
at the wheel like a blind pianist caught in a tune 
meant for more than two hands playing. 
The words were easy, crooned 
by a young girl dying to feel alive, to discover 
a pain majestic enough 
to live by. I turned the air conditioning off, 
leaned back to float on a film of sweat, 
and listened to her sentiment: 
Baby, where did our love go?-a lament 
I greedily took in 
without a clue who my lover 
might be, or where to start looking. 

A few years back I met a collective of talented poets and writers on the web. Through our interactions I came up with an idea for a cultural radio show.  At the time the format was innovative and filled a much needed void in internet radio.  We started out with 5 hosts, each with an area of expertise and a unique social platform.  We covered everything from indie music, spoken word, self published poets and authors to ground breaking film makers. The show was most infamous for its “One Speech Announcements”.   Eventually my cousin Monie J and I had to carry the torch but we channeled the spirit of the other ladies into every segment thereafter.  

Today, I’m feeling nostalgic for the show. I met so many wonderfully talented artists in so many various genres. I feel making those connection helped me grow not only as an artist but as a human being.  Some of my favorite sessions included interviews with Kennedy Madison Taylor, Tshombe Sekou, Sham Lewis (formerly B Soul ), The Inkwell with Shelly Bell and Jeremy Williams and 99 Ways Entertainment, which was our first interview with a film production company.  

Many have asked if I plan to return to internet radio.  Others have demanded that I do.  (lol) I must admit I’m seriously considering another comeback. Will it happen…stay tuned!

Click here if you’d like to listen to archived segments»>http://www.blogtalkradio.com/n-ls

Click here to listen to some of our favorite Indie artists»»>http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/song_details/662660

I am slow to anger and joy rises up in me effortlessly, overflowing my cup! ~M

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis

Letting go of the past can be more challenging than it appears.  Forgiving ourselves more often than not proves to be the hardest form of  redemption.  We hold ourselves to a higher standard as if we are infallible.  I no longer look at past offenses as mistakes but rather as lessons that  are molding and shaping me into the person I aspire to become.  I believe that constantly kicking myself will only hinder me from living the life I am destined to live.   I choose to live a life of love and acceptance rather than regret and remorse.

How I Begin to Heal

I write out the things I regret most, be them old relationships, poor choices or living in denial.   I start each sentence with: I forgive myself for, and fill in the troubles that weigh on my soul the most.  It sounds trivial but once I began to acknowledge what plagued my heart the most, letting go wasn’t as challenging.

~M   

For as long as I can remember I haven’t had very many “girl” friends. I was always more comfortable around the boys. I’d play football in the field and hang around the basketball court, because I could shoot better than I could jump double dutch. My circle of women has always been small.  I don’t think this was a conscious choice; I always wanted to be a part of a large sisterhood, but in my experience whenever the group is too large, there are LARGE problems.  I rarely run into this issue with the guys.  Not that they’re aren’t any issues, they’re just “different”. (lol)

 I recently read a re-post of a blog by either Basseyworld or Ramblings of an Urban Jawn.  (I’m still confused by how Tumblr works) but I have to admit, I feel that way about women. I agree with both sides of the story because I am both women.  I don’t feel that I am above the rest just a little more evolved and that is an unfortunate truth. I’m good friends with one of my husband’s exes.  I have a girlfriend that dated a guy I once dated.  She’s still my ace. In this way I feel I am very “dude-like”.   I witnessed two women try to overcome an uncomfortable situation as maturely and civil as possible while another hater ass chick who couldn’t see the bigger picture, rained on their parade.

I guess I don’t just hang out with guys, I have a very eclectic ”cool” click of guys and chicks.  I stay very far away from the catty, back-stabbing, label checking bitches & dudes and seek those who are trying to live as authentically as they can, who give more than they ask for and can admit when they’re wrong and rise above the humanness of a situation to find the God in themselves. I have maintained these friendships for over 20 years, so I’d have to say my method works just fine for me. More recently I’ve found four other senoritas who rock like I do and that’s cool with me.

Thanks ladies for the inspiration!

~M

This piece was inspired by the legendary Nikki Giovanni who constantly challenges me to be the best writer I can be.

For those who wade in the water 

in their good shoes.

For those who gather raindrops

and wash away the blues.

for those who let their children

lick the batter right off the spoon.

For those who stand on mountaintops;

not to rise above others, but to get a

better view.

For those who mend fences

and bend tragedy into

boldly colored hues.

For those who recognize sunshine

when the skies are grey.

For those who leap over clouds

with wingless feet.

For those who write lullabies

deep beneath the sea.

And especially for those like me.

~Mo’Kha Uzuri